YES or NO

Currently I am torn between loving the idea of saying Yes to things, challenging, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and embracing all life has to offer and also having the confidence to say NO, because there are things I just don’t want to do for whatever reason.

Modern psychology seems to sway between the benefits of both camps and yet doesn’t address the idea that we don’t always have to move towards something or steer away from something, sometime we are just OK where we are in the moment and with what we have or want to do.

In our society, especially in the UK we do this ridiculous polite thing where instead of saying NO to something we skirt around the issue, giving reasons and excuses and generally trying to justify why we either cant or wont do something we are asked or invited to.
And yet when we look to the more ‘can do’ American style idea, there can be an obligation to say YES, even when in our hearts and minds we are screaming NOOOOOO!

We can say NO and moreover it is the whole answer, there is no need to qualify our response with excuses, I watch my 2-year-old grandson and he’s really good at saying NO, we laugh at him but he knows instinctively when he doesn’t want something and equally offer him an orange and you soon know that the answer is ‘YES’, usually followed by ‘MORE’

So how about putting yourself first, stopping to think ‘What do I want’ and how do I express that in the best possible way so that I can be authentic, neither a doormat or negative, just you.

It may seem easy and logical to say but I suspect that all of us have struggled at some point with both answers, not wanting to offend anyone but at the same time not communicating very effectively what we really want or need.

Also sometimes no answer at all is the best answer, or just taking the time to step out of the problem so you can look at it more objectively.

One of the ways I help my clients, whatever their reason for coming to me is to put them back in touch with who they really are, what they really want or need and how to take control of their own thoughts so these kind of answers can flow from a place of confidence in giving the answer that really conveys what is important to them.