Two views

I am currently sitting at my computer and aware that I appear to have two competing world views going on in my head….I know that these are just thought’s and not necessarily real, but right now they both feel very real to me.

View 1 is the one where the world feels very scary at times, illness is painted at being behind every mask, every touch, and every person I might come into contact with. My need to protect myself and those I love feels very real. I have a lack of trust in a government that is meant to know what is right and guide us, because it seems they don’t appear to have my best interests at heart.

The other View 2 is the one where I am cocooned from the outside world to a large extent and although I want to return to seeing family, friends, and clients; I’m safe and I’m so very thankful that my world is safe, I have a lovely home, enough to eat and can survive financially for a time so my basic needs are met and I don’t have to work on the frontline and be exposed to illness and the rage of those who feel frustrated with it all.

The interesting thing is how I am able to hold these competing thoughts at the same time, to know that at some level, both are true and it’s my job to navigate the thoughts and the reality and find a way to live fully at the same time.

This feels possible at times and impossible at others like I am a tiny piece of sand being buffeted about on a beach with the tide ebbing and flowing. The only control I have is to recognise these two realities and release any control I think I have and surrender to this duality.

Some days this is easy, and many days I feel I should be doing more, but I also relish the slower pace of life that this has afforded me and I’m in no rush to return to a normal that clearly doesn’t work for so many, even before Covid.

I’m constantly being told that I will be overrun with clients in the coming weeks, the mental health implications of this for so many, but equally I’m being told by some of my clients that like me, they are enjoying the break from the treadmill that was their life before and they are not happy to get back on it!

Where do you stand? Do you need support navigating this experience or are you enjoying the break that this is offering you? are you on the front line and overwhelmed by your experiences? Is your life better in some ways and worse in others? How do you manage your thoughts and do they match your reality?