Soft edges

I love looking at and making mosaic and especially some of the beautiful pieces made with found sea glass, its edges worn down and a kind of patina all over that makes it looked etched.

Then I realized as I creep towards my 60th birthday that I am like one of those pieces of glass, more and more, the hard edges worn down by loss, illness, and a little fear to make me softer, less sure of things that I would have argued the toss about when I was younger.

The thing is, that I am learning about this newer more up-to-date version of myself and liking what I find. My need to explore the world has diminished as I enjoy my home and feel complete and centred here. I am creative in my own way and in my own time, so that a contentedness has crept over me, like a warm blanket, almost without me noticing and it is comforting once I stop fighting it!

I am also a little confused as I feel a certain pressure to be out there pushing at the boundaries more and yet not really wanting to do so, except in a more cerebral way. So that I want to know more about people and how they think and don’t need to travel far from home to find that. In fact, I have the best job in the world because, that is my job, finding out how people tick and their motivation to stay in the same groove or to make changes, and having the tools to help them.

From an archetypal women’s life perspective, I am moving into the role of ‘crone’ a ritual rite of passage into an era of wisdom, freedom, and personal power, and that is exactly how it feels! I like it, my life no longer rocked by hormones, so that even though my body is aging, it is familiar, even the new lines appearing slowly on my face are care lines and the human patina of a life well-lived. I could do without the numerous aches and pains, but at the same time reminded of how very lucky I am to be here, when so many others are not.