Learning what it is to be you

I have been learning from so many sources over the last few years but this last year has changed the way I work with my clients in a more fundamental way, due to my own experiences.

The journey towards self-acceptance, self-worth and self-love are so often at the root of much of the work we do together, and that has always been so, but learning about oneself and what that means can be transformational.

What if its Ok to be the shy one, or the fat one or the loud one, or whatever combination of value judgements you can throw at yourself, what if being you with all of your qualities is OK, I wonder what other qualities you are missing about yourself, how would your life be different if you could learn to embrace all of your qualities without judgement?

This doesn’t mean that we cannot change the way we respond to life, only that we do it from a different place, one where we can see ourselves more clearly.

I realised that so much of who I am came from a kind of judgemental indoctrination that I learnt from the environment I grew up in and that I have chosen to do things in a different way with my own kids.

I love them unconditionally, which doesn’t mean I always like them, but that I accept they are doing the best they can. If I can accept that in them, it follows that with a little rethinking I can also do the same for myself.

That change in my thoughts, began a transformation within me, which is a rippling out within my own life and experiences. Does this mean I am always without judgement, no way! sometimes I can enjoy being a judger, like anyone.

But I like it, it feels good to begin to let go of all those value judgements and rules, and when I work with my clients, particularly the young ones between 14 and 18, they are also learning how liberating it can be and they can begin to take that forward into their lives and learn what it is to be themselves. How I wish that I had known all this back then when I was a teenager, but better late than never and I am enjoying the freedom and laughing a lot more now.