The elusive certainty of youth

As I watch my youngest son telling me how it is about something he seems so sure of, I find myself wistful for those days when everything seemed so sure, for the certainty of youth. When I seemed so sure, when my world was held together by beliefs that I held about how things are, and I could argue to uphold those truths, my truths with vigour.

Today after a few years of uncertainty, my world is quite different, but none the worse for it. I can no longer know those things I took for granted about what makes a relationship work and what keeps a body healthy, and the right way and the wrong way to do most things.

The reality of course is that I never did know all those answers, and certainty and uncertainty are still the same beasts they always were, it is me that has grown and learnt through experience, the really important lessons about what is of value, how those beliefs were just a vehicle to get me to the next tomorrow, and how all the tomorrows come and go whatever I think about them, and will continue long after I am aware of them.

There is a freedom that exists once a mind comes to realize these things, I can relax more, enjoy the little things, moments of joy, can be freer than ever to make choices about my life, and realize that moments and interactions with family and friends are the glue that make each day meaningful.

I am spurred on to keep enquiring and challenging, but less forcefully than ever before. I can listen more, even to the quiet between the questions and answers… and discover that is so often where the magic is!